Is having no sex the new sex? TRACEY COX hears why some people are choosing celibacy

The worldwide sex recession is getting worse: there's never been a younger generation less interested in sex than this one.

Technology and social media are making it easier for people to avoid real-life relationships; student debt and housing costs has left many young people too stressed to prioritise relationships and intimacy. 

Porn reduces the need for real-life encounters,now fraught with fears over safety and consent.

But it's not just younger people who are avoiding sex.

More than thirty percent of couples who've been together more than two years are in sexless relationships – having sex six or less times a year.

Technology and social media are making it easier for people to avoid real-life relationships (stock image) 

She broke up with me about two weeks later. I asked her if it was because of the sex and she said it wasn't but that I was 'a little too young'. She didn't need to spell out that she knew I was inexperienced and had been a virgin.

That was five years ago. I haven't even tried to date or have sex with anyone since. I don't have trouble attracting women,but I don't want to humiliate myself again. 

The thought of having sex with anyone ever again is so stressful,I would rather just DIY and watch porn than put myself through that again.'

'Sex is supposed to be about pleasure but for me it's a world of pain.'

Eliza,32,got married five years ago and was diagnosed with endometriosis around the same time.

'Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside of it: it makes things stick together that shouldn't. I've had it five years and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. 

Sex is supposed to be about pleasure - for me it's now just a world of pain. It's ruined my life. It will probably cost me my marriage and stop me becoming a mother.

The reason it hurts me so much is because my endometriosis is just behind my vagina in the lower uterus. It can grow in different places – and this turns out to be the worst for anyone wanting to be able to continue to have sex. 

It's also made my vagina stick to my rectum and I have scarring elsewhere as well. Any kind of penetration pulls and stretches everything.

It doesn't just hurt when I'm having intercourse,it hurts for hours afterwards. The cramping can last days. I am so anxious and fearful about sex,I'm never 'wet' or relaxed. It hurts from the second he enters and just gets worse the deeper he goes.

HERE'S WHY I HAVE NO INTEREST IN SEX

This is what people said when I asked them to tell me why they're choosing to be temporarily or permanently celibate.

'All guys want is rough sex. I don't enjoy being choked so I'm opting out until I meet a man who enjoys intimate,loving sex.'

'I'm over dating apps and hook-up sex. I realised I was doing it to get the affection and cuddle at the end. It's left me in a bad place mentally – I was starting to feel used.'

'I started taking Viagra as 'back-up' because I lost my erection once or twice. Now I'm too scared to try sex without it. My girlfriend of eight months had no idea and I'm sure taking Viagra for such a long period isn't good. I'm taking a break from sex for a while.'

'I'm 25 and confused by all the choices in front of me. I think I'm straight,but I like watching lesbian porn,so what's that about? I have lots of gay friends,maybe that's made me think I'm gay when I'm not. I've kissed (men) and had foreplay but never intercourse. I'm worried it will hurt as well: even inserting a tampon seems difficult. Maybe when the right person comes along,all will become clear?'

'Women are cruel. I've had a few instances when I went soft after a big night of drinking (what do they expect?). There's never any reassurance. They just say,'Oh! This has never happened to me'. Like,'This is your problem not mine. I know I'm the hottest thing around'. It's not helpful. I'm waiting until I'm in a proper relationship before I have sex again.'

'I've just divorced and one of the biggest bonuses is never having to have sex when I don't want to. I never want to. I think I'm going to love being single!'

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My husband is understanding but we're young – both in our early 30s. We should be enjoying each other's bodies and thinking about making babies. 

I feel so guilty for denying him something he enjoys so much. I've told him he can get sex elsewhere,if he wants to,he has my blessing. The thought of him sleeping with another woman kills me but what can I do?

I would give anything to be able to enjoy sex like normal people do. But I'm at the point where I can't bear to do it even one more time because the cost is just too high.'

Listen to SexTok,Tracey's weekly podcast,wherever you listen to your podcasts. Visit traceycox.com for her blog,books and products.